Jeff Bezos and the Bullshit of Blast Off
So the same day that Jeff Bezos took his long-touted joy ride into space, much of the state of Oregon was burning. You might have missed that, given the breathless coverage of Bezos’s blasting off.
The Oregon fire should have topped Bezos in the news. Because it matters a whole hell of lot to those of us still trying to live on earth. That fire is so big that it’s spawned its own weather systems, along with fire tornados — yes, you read that right — fire tornados — that are 20+ miles long. And yet, the Oregon fire took a far backseat to Mr. Bezos claiming the spotlight. Because in America really, really rich people (and celebrities, who are sometimes one and the same) claim our attention in disproportionate ways. We cannot get enough of their every utterance and gesture.
On the other hand, there is no glamorous story to tell of the Oregon fire. There’s just catastrophe. And Americans don’t much like that sort of thing. Give us a story about the latest butt pic from a Kardashian, or another billionaire playing with his boy toys — and Americans are all over it. If we weren’t, our money-mad-media-moguls and their mouthpieces wouldn’t cover it.
But the fire wasn’t only bumped from coverage by the Bezos Blast Off. It took another hit when the bald billionaire added a follow up stunt to his repertoire. He “surprised” chef Jose Andres and commentator Van Jones with $100 million each, money Andres and Jones can use at their sole discretion.
And here’s my wish: that instead of being rendered speechless, or feeling full of gratitude, both men had turned to Bezos and said: “We will not be the vehicles through which you launder your reputation. We will not be used in that way. You have gained obscene wealth and in so doing, have failed to contribute even a distant star’s worth of your fair share in corporate and personal taxes. We know that while $100 million for each of us sounds like an extraordinary amount of money, it is more like a rounding error in your personal portfolio. You have grown to be beyond Midas wealthy, while watching the country in which you built your fortune sink into catastrophic inequality, polarization, autocracy, and hatred. You cannot wash your moral failures through us. We are not on this earth to absolve you of your personal and corporate sins. Your vision for space does not excuse or compensate for your boundless and destructive avarice on earth, for your willingness to profit at the expense of so many others. You are part of the zero sum game that is American capitalism, and we refuse to play. America does not need this game show philanthropy you offer. It needs a vision of a just, equitable, compassionate nation, one that is built on a shared commitment to success, to mutual aid, and to meeting the basic needs of all Americans, which must be met before dreams of space exploration blast off. You could have chosen to be a builder of such a nation. Instead, you have turned your eyes heavenward, imagining yet another place to colonize and monetize. All while earth languishes, suffers, and literally burns.”
But I live in the reality of America. So now let’s cue the friends neither Andres nor Jones knew he had; let’s listen to pundits predict what each man will do with his windfall; let the interviewers probe and critique their plans; and let those on the sidelines make bets as to who’s next in the Jeff Bezos distract-a-thon of throwing rounding error money at folks who will feel compelled in one way or another to kiss his…
Oh never mind. It’s just another day in America. Where humane values are a quaint distraction from worship of the twin gods of money and celebrity.
